As graduation is fast approaching, (about eleven weeks to be exact) I can't help but feel a mixture of emotion. Although I will be happy to rid myself of the drama of high school, I am filled with sadness to think of what I will be leaving behind when I eventually leave this small town. There is one person in this world that i have said i love and actually meant it. His name is Davion and i really do love him. Davion is my best friend Brianna's baby boy. at 10 months old he's the closest thing i have ever felt to having family that I love unconditionally. And at 10 months, he's my favorite person in the whole world. It hurts me so much to even consider leaving him behind on my quest to find myself or move on with my life. Since he was born May 11th, 2009, I have been with him at least 3 times a week. He is my nephew, blood related or not, I love him as if he were my own nephew. Could you imagine? Moving away from the person you love? I don't know what to do. My overpowering urge to rid myself of this town conflicts with my urge to stay with this beautiful baby boy for the rest of his life. I would never be able to forgive myself if when he grows older, he doesn't recognize me, and he doesn't realize how very much i love him to the core. It sounds so silly but I often find myself crying because it hurts me so much to even consider leaving him behind. I will miss his smiling face, his cuddles, his crazy hair, his perfect little fingers and toes, and most of all, his ability to recognize me when I come and see him. My face is as recognizable to him as much as his own mother or grandfather. I don't even know why I am thinking about this now, as I will not be leaving right after graduation, i still have years. I can't continue to think about this, it's too hard. I guess we'll deal with it as it comes.
I hate crying blog posts
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