so as i sit here, reflecting on my day as a whole, i believe it was somewhat a good day. i read a whole book, i cried (sometimes it's good to cry...) i laid around in my pj's for most of the day, and i figured out that i should never go driving or practice parking with my mother. she stresses me out so much and all i can ever hear is "nag nag nag nag nag" it's seriously the worst feeling in the world to be driving with my mother. she totally just comments on every little thing you do wrong. like i forgot where i had to turn to get into kresa and she totally flipped out so i asked her what to do and she says "well i don't know. figure it out!" and it's just like well what the fuck do you want me to do?! it's like every little thing i do wrong is the end of the world as we know it. it's like i forget one single little thing and it's like the sky will come crashing down if i don't fix it right away. i was sitting at a red light and it turned green so i was going to go and then i was just checking to make sure nobody was coming because some people can me jackasses on the road so my mother decides to yell at me while i'm driving to go because it's green! it's like "um hello i can pay attention... stop being a backseat driver god damn it!" but of course it didn't stop there. of course she had to freakin critique every single thing i did wrong when i was trying to park it's like "um dad doesnt do this, he actually tells me when i'm doing good instead of ragging on me when i make a stupid mistake" and i was vacuming my room today and i got my blanket stuck in it for a second and she's like what the hell did you get caught in the vacume now? and i'm just like jesus can you calm the fuck down for one second?! and then whenever my friends are over it's like she's silently judging them like it's some big deal that they aren't exactly "popular" even though at northern there aren't really "popular" kids. it's like wow yeah my friends are a little bit eccentric. that's what i love. they march to the beat of a different drummer. holy shit they're a bad influence. i think i can tell when somebody's a bad influence. exibit A: liz and becca, 7th and 8th grade. yes i know i was stupid and i learned. exibit B: taylor, liz, becca, and basically everyone who was pressuring me to do drugs with them this year. yeah i know how to handle these kinds of things. and i swear to god if becca tries to pull the "renae's the worse kid here"stunt then out comes all of her shit that i know about. seriously i can't believe that they have even thought that she's the better kid or at least that she thinks that she's going to be able to pull this off the rest of her life because if she so much as crosses me about shit like this it's all over. her shit's on the table.
god i can't believe how good it feels just to say that. i'm not the bad kid. i'm not a bad kid at all. i do my shit, yeah i'm a bit lazy, yeah i'm fat, yeah i eat, yeah i have friends that are just as wierd as i am. but at least i don't sneak around behind my parent's backs. at least i've never even taken a sip of alcohol or a hit of any drug. EVER. at least i'm still a virgin. and at least i actually try to study.
wow
okay
i'll write more later
xoxo
renae
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